**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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