Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
