She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
