I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
