News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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