why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
