Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My balls are so social today.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize