so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize