You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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