somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
