I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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