all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
