You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
