hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize