If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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