You're so nebulous sometimes
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
