try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
