You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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