sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
