How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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