I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
