If that was your dad, he is hot
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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