i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
bring money and cleavage
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
