Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
