You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize