Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
