What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
