i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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