I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
