we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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