Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
