You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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