Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
