The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
