I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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