is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
