sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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