Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
