Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
