in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
