Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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