I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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