I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
