.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
