we're blogging at a bar
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize