Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
