On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think im going to throw up on grandma
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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