You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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