are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
it glows. i had to have it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize