Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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