Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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