David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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