I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
i need some magic done to my vagina
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
