I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
