I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize