wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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