I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
