East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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